Both Sides of Me

In the mood of Christmas

2009-11-16T20:33:00.020+07:00

Dashing through the snow....

( . . . . . . . ] )

OK, I know it's still at least a month away before Mr.Santa resumes his annual charity work, but I could no longer contain my excitement, so.......

HAPPY BE-EARLIER-ED MERRY X'MAS Y'ALL !!!!

(Oops!...that hurts~)

Christmas is my favourite festive season of all, despite the fact that I'm not a christian. I just simply love the atmosphere, the decorations, the songs, and of course -- X'MAS TREES !!!

Usually during this time in the past years, I'd get myself indulged in some 'syok-sendiri' kind of 'pre-

x'mas' activities to satisfy my guilty pleasures......

* * * * * * * * * *

When I was small, and the christmas trees were really tall....

Once upon a time, I used to draw a large 2D xmas tree on a mahjong paper, colored it by using Luna color pencils with all my might

(A size of mahjong paper is considered rather vast for a primary school kid,

it felt more like a tennis court)

* * * * * * * * * *

During high school time, I 'built' an X'mas tree by simply using carton boxes and watercolors.

It's VERY bulky and.....erm, bulky.

Yet till today I'm still not willing to recycle it or donate to MPK....

* * * * * * * * * *

There was another incarnation made by using polystryrene,

However it didn't survive in the end, too fragile....

* * * * * * * * * *

And then last year, I made an Origami-themed white X'mas tree

(fin'lly a presentable one, but with a toilet roll incorporated, spot its location if you can)

And of course, a warm and nice christmas dinner at home with my lovely family, complete with yummy deep-fried chicken chops (replacing the turkeys), mushroom soup, beans and eggs, country-style

(Note: I was, and I'm still not the cook)

So, what would my plan for this year's x'mas be like??

What about yours?

Something Bothers...

2009-11-14T21:40:00.030+07:00

(Warning: negativity overloaded, skip this if you’re in a sunny mood)

I’m sorry if I gave u the wrong impression

I’m sorry if I never looked into your eyes

I’m sorry if I never speak much

I’m sorry if I’ve made sudden excuses to go away

I’m sorry if I left you feeling awkward and uncomfortable

It’s all because of the ‘thing’ running through my head

The ‘thing’ hanging down my nose

It needed air to breathe, it needed time to release

Long time hiding will only cause suffocation

We have a mixed and complicated relationship

‘Love & Hate’, that’s the closest term I could name it

It’s a trademark of mine, and it also made my mum cried;

It gives me another insight of life,

and it also stripped away my sense of pride;

It gives me another reason to fight in life,

but it just worsened my cowardice;

God is fair, and I’m blessed with the bestests of life

but somehow I just wished I could get it off my mind

To me, confidence is a word of a thousand tonnes

At the same time, it only took a stick of dynamite to blow it up

Yes, in case if you wonder,

I did took the words seriously, and I sighed on the mirror frequently

And for once or twice, I dropped a tear or two in the middle of the night

But I’ll never breakdown in front of you guys,

as I hold on to my image so damn tight

I just can’t stand myself from losing my last bit sense of pride

However I used to lose it, once in my life

And I regretted it, for the rest of my life

I used to be a perfectionist,

But now no longer I belong to it;

I used to be such an arrogant peafowl

Now I’m just a plain ignorant da-mole;

I’ve gotta resent myself from excessive expressing

Because option A, B & Cs are the only ones in the presentable list;

I’ve gotta learn to be receptive to everything

So that I could learn to be less touchy when dealing with ‘it’;

I tended to choose the most travelled routes

As I don't have the courage to face it if things went south;

And you know I’d never let you take my pictures from the side,

I guessed now you’d already know the reason’s why

"TOLD 'YA NOT FROM THE SIDE!!..."

(I’m just worried if I’m going to lose anything more in my life….)

Somberness aside, deep down inside,

I’m not those who’d easily give up that tumbling kite

I have this little fighting spirit for as long as I could ever remember

Having kept on trying and fighting for what I thought were impossible

You see, there’s a reason why I still root for Britney all this while

And why I listen and sing to Mariah’s ‘Hero’ all the time

In the end, I’m actually thrilled of what I’d been able to achieve

But alas, too bad, that’s the limit that I can only reach

No need for feeling guilty, as it’s all me, not others

And in fact, I’ve got to thank ‘it’, for the good things it brought to me:

It pulls me back to the ground whenever I wasn’t aware

It constructed the sensitive yet wacky Libran personality of mine

It gives me pride in certain ways I’d have never expected

It brings me some of the best things in my life which are more than I could ask for

..........

All in all, it makes me who I am today

Both the good side and the bad side

Again, I’m sorry if you’re offended by this semi-revelation of a typical Libran

‘The world is at war, and the children are left in poor, and now you’re getting’ emo- just because of this ding-dong??’

I just need some space sometimes, that's all

I’m bitchily sensitive, it’s been hiding inside of me

But I mean no harm, and I always looked that easy

Because that’s the side of me that I want to let you see

(Do you see the conflicting personalities I’m having?)

(not that extreme lar~~)

And if there is a chance, I’ll get rid of it, once and for all,

And for once in a while, you’ll see the true sunshine in me.

Face yourself, before you face the others.

Another loss....

2009-06-28T16:02:00.002+07:00

“Michael Jackson died in LA hospital, last night.”
I got this sms from my dad early in the morning while I was in the midst of shifting office.

“Another loss of our pops n mums generation’s defining icon……”
That was the first thing came to my mind upon receiving the news.

While I was on my way back home from work, an anonymous radio station was paying tribute to this pop idol by playing his songs non-stop, from Ben to Bad, from Thriller to Back or White. Then only I realized that how I used to came across these songs while I still had no idea about what ‘pop music’ is, and gawd, his songs are still that infectious!! Honestly, they fare much better than those robo-pop snacks and yo-yo-yeah-yeahs that dominate the radio airplays today (however, I still heart Britney Spears though).

‘It really needs to take death to make us realized how we used to love someone’.
Just moments after the breaking news of MJ's untimely death, the post impact is unprecedented: all radio stations blasting off his tunes hits 24-hours non-stop; vast news coverage of his death; skyrocketing sales of his albums in every local outlet; plentiful blog comments and facebook statuses; and of course, tears and mourning from fans around the world.

I was still yet to arrive in this world when MJ corpse-danced to every household with Thriller and I was never an avid fan of his, as I was too young to worship an idol when he was in his prime. Yet I was aware of how broad his musical appeal is, and how his music transcended generations and races, young and old alike. You may not know who John Denver is, but you definitely know who Michael Jackson is. I can see the big hole created in the hearts of many people of the generation. The feeling is like losing your best friends, your loved ones. In this case, it’s losing an important figure in their memories.

The scenario is pretty much similar to the decease of Hong Kong veteran entertainer Lydia Sum two years ago, who entertained and accompanied our mums and dads through their ups and downs all through the decades. When she left, the whole generation lost an always ever-optimistic Dai Ga Jie.

And this day, we’d lost an idol of an entire generation. A figure is gone, the past is far behind us and suddenly, we realized that we’d grown up.

Ironically, months before his departure, he was always the target of media tabloids scrutiny for his weird behaviors and deteriorating physical appearances. It somehow feels sad to accept the fact that people could be so cruel to each other while they are alive. Now that he has died, would they feel a little bit ashamed or regret for what they’d done to him? Sadly, it’s money that matters.

Negative press aside, it was still a sad day for the older generation. The millennium babies may find it hard to understand this feeling. May be it’s time to let them know how you used to blast his songs with your cassette player during picnics, how you roller-scatted to ‘Bad’ at roller-skating center, how you tried to imitate his moonwalk, and how used to wear those flashy jackets while courting girls.

May be it’s time to embrace the memories, for the sake of nostalgia.

I may not be your fan, but I still like your music.
RIP, MJ