Thursday, September 13, 2012


This is the first time ever that I fell in love with a song that I COULDN'T BEAR listening to it for another time. Gotta admit that I'm an emotional mess but with lyrics like THAT -- An honest & devastating true account of a mother dealing with heartbreak and loss of a 4 y.o. child to terminal cancer -- it's just too painful to swallow, even for non-parents like us, as if we could paint the scenes out and really feel the heartache. Nothing is sadder than losing one's child and there's nothing one can do about it. 

This tear-jerking ballad is about a boy named Ronan, who succumbed to stage four neuroblastoma cancer just three days shy of his 4th birthday in May 2011. His mother, Maya Thompson, chronicled his journey fighting the cancer through blog posts in rockstarronan, and when all hope is vain, it turned into a mum's grieving platform. 

Thompson's heartfelt posts caught Taylor Swift's attention and touched her so much that she wrote a song for Ronan, almost entirely using those honest & heartfelt words of Thompson in her blog posts (hence crediting her as co-writer of the song), crafting this incredibly heart-felt song. With lyrics like:

'I remember your bare feet down the hallway/I remember your little laugh/Race cars on the kitchen floor/Plastic dinosaurs/I love you to the moon and back'

-- who could blame you for bawling your eyes out? And the lyrics of the chorus:

'Come on baby with me/We're gonna fly away from here/Out of this curtained room in this hospital/We'll just disappear/Come on baby with me/We're gonna fly away from here/You were my best four years'

-- according to Thompson, are some of the last words she whispered to Ronan before he passed away in her arms.

I thought nothing could top NewSong's 'The Christmas Shoes', and boy I was so wrong. I was already a mess the first time I watched Swift's debut performance of this song at SU2C last week (Stand Up To Cancer, a telethon charity event in US to raise funds for cancer research), got all choked up halfway through. Now thinking about it for too long will also cause some emotional tides within, and I don't even dare to read the mum's blog coz I know it will get worse from there.

I highly recommend this song. Read the lyrics -they are POIGNANT and POWERFUL, a mum's devastatingly heartfelt words to a departed son, told though Thompson's perspertive -; get to know the back story, get to know Maya Thompson and her boy Ronan, the boy with a pair of the most beautiful blue eyes, get to know the cancer, and then the song --- the aptly titled "Ronan".

Mad props to Taylor Swift for reaching out to the Thompsons and composing this hauntingly beautiful song to keep his memories alive, and raising awareness about pediatric cancer to the public. It's also worth to note that all proceeds of this single sales are 100% going to cancer charities.

Maya Thompson's blog ---
Her letter to Swift, written from Ronan's perpestive ---

Watch below: Taylor Swift's performance of RONAN at SUTC.
Keep some Kleenex nearby, you may need it.

Hope you'll like it as much as I do =)

RONAN Lyrics

Written by Taylor Swift & Maya Thompson

I remember your bare feet down the hallway

I remember your little laugh

Race cars on the kitchen floor

Plastic dinosaurs, I love you to the moon and back

I remember your blue eyes looking into mine like we had our own

secret club

I remember you dancing before bed time then jumping on me waking

me up

I can still feel you hold my hand

Little man, from even that moment I knew

You fought it hard like an army guy

Remember I leaned in and whispered to you


Come on baby with me

We're gonna fly away from here

You were my best four years

I remember the drive home when the blind hope

Turned to crying and screaming, "Why?"

Flowers piled up in the worst way

No one knows what to say about a beautiful boy who died

And it's about to be Halloween

You could be anything you wanted if you were still here

I remember the last day when I kissed your face

I whispered in your ear

Come on baby with me

We're gonna fly away from here

Out of this curtained room in this hospital

We'll just disappear

Come on baby with me

We're gonna fly away from here

You were my best four years

What if I'm standing in your closet trying to talk to you?

What if I kept the hand me downs you won't grow into?

And what if I really thought some miracle would see us through?

But what if the miracle was even getting one moment with you

Come on baby with me

We're gonna fly away from here

Come on baby with me

We're gonna fly away from here

You were my best four years

I remember your bare feet down the hallway

I love you to the moon and back   

R.I.P. Ronan

Monday, November 16, 2009

In the mood of Christmas

Dashing through the snow....
( . . . . . . . ] )

OK, I know it's still at least a month away before Mr.Santa resumes his annual charity work, but I could no longer contain my excitement, so.......


(Oops!...that hurts~)

Christmas is my favourite festive season of all, despite the fact that I'm not a christian. I just simply love the atmosphere, the decorations, the songs, and of course -- X'MAS TREES !!!

Usually during this time in the past years, I'd get myself indulged in some 'syok-sendiri' kind of 'pre-
x'mas' activities to satisfy my guilty pleasures......
* * * * * * * * * *
When I was small, and the christmas trees were really tall....

Once upon a time, I used to draw a large 2D xmas tree on a mahjong paper, colored it by using Luna color pencils with all my might
(A size of mahjong paper is considered rather vast for a primary school kid,
it felt more like a tennis court)

* * * * * * * * * *
During high school time, I 'built' an X'mas tree by simply using carton boxes and watercolors.


It's VERY bulky and.....erm, bulky.

Yet till today I'm still not willing to recycle it or donate to MPK....

* * * * * * * * * *

There was another incarnation made by using polystryrene,

However it didn't survive in the end, too fragile....

* * * * * * * * * *

And then last year, I made an Origami-themed white X'mas tree

(fin'lly a presentable one, but with a toilet roll incorporated, spot its location if you can)

And of course, a warm and nice christmas dinner at home with my lovely family, complete with yummy deep-fried chicken chops (replacing the turkeys), mushroom soup, beans and eggs, country-style

(Note: I was, and I'm still not the cook)

So, what would my plan for this year's x'mas be like??

What about yours?

Saturday, November 14, 2009

Something Bothers...

(Warning: negativity overloaded, skip this if you’re in a sunny mood)

I’m sorry if I gave u the wrong impression

I’m sorry if I never looked into your eyes

I’m sorry if I never speak much

I’m sorry if I’ve made sudden excuses to go away

I’m sorry if I left you feeling awkward and uncomfortable

It’s all because of the ‘thing’ running through my head

The ‘thing’ hanging down my nose

It needed air to breathe, it needed time to release

Long time hiding will only cause suffocation

We have a mixed and complicated relationship

‘Love & Hate’, that’s the closest term I could name it

It’s a trademark of mine, and it also made my mum cried;

It gives me another insight of life,

and it also stripped away my sense of pride;

It gives me another reason to fight in life,

but it just worsened my cowardice;

God is fair, and I’m blessed with the bestests of life

but somehow I just wished I could get it off my mind

To me, confidence is a word of a thousand tonnes

At the same time, it only took a stick of dynamite to blow it up

Yes, in case if you wonder,

I did took the words seriously, and I sighed on the mirror frequently

And for once or twice, I dropped a tear or two in the middle of the night

But I’ll never breakdown in front of you guys,

as I hold on to my image so damn tight

I just can’t stand myself from losing my last bit sense of pride

However I used to lose it, once in my life

And I regretted it, for the rest of my life

I used to be a perfectionist,

But now no longer I belong to it;

I used to be such an arrogant peafowl

Now I’m just a plain ignorant da-mole;

I’ve gotta resent myself from excessive expressing

Because option A, B & Cs are the only ones in the presentable list;

I’ve gotta learn to be receptive to everything

So that I could learn to be less touchy when dealing with ‘it’;

I tended to choose the most travelled routes

As I don't have the courage to face it if things went south;

And you know I’d never let you take my pictures from the side,

I guessed now you’d already know the reason’s why


(I’m just worried if I’m going to lose anything more in my life….)

Somberness aside, deep down inside,

I’m not those who’d easily give up that tumbling kite

I have this little fighting spirit for as long as I could ever remember

Having kept on trying and fighting for what I thought were impossible

You see, there’s a reason why I still root for Britney all this while

And why I listen and sing to Mariah’s ‘Hero’ all the time

In the end, I’m actually thrilled of what I’d been able to achieve

But alas, too bad, that’s the limit that I can only reach

No need for feeling guilty, as it’s all me, not others

And in fact, I’ve got to thank ‘it’, for the good things it brought to me:

It pulls me back to the ground whenever I wasn’t aware

It constructed the sensitive yet wacky Libran personality of mine

It gives me pride in certain ways I’d have never expected

It brings me some of the best things in my life which are more than I could ask for


All in all, it makes me who I am today

Both the good side and the bad side

Again, I’m sorry if you’re offended by this semi-revelation of a typical Libran

‘The world is at war, and the children are left in poor, and now you’re getting’ emo- just because of this ding-dong??’

I just need some space sometimes, that's all

I’m bitchily sensitive, it’s been hiding inside of me

But I mean no harm, and I always looked that easy

Because that’s the side of me that I want to let you see

(Do you see the conflicting personalities I’m having?)

(not that extreme lar~~)

And if there is a chance, I’ll get rid of it, once and for all,

And for once in a while, you’ll see the true sunshine in me.

Face yourself, before you face the others.

Sunday, June 28, 2009

Another loss....

“Michael Jackson died in LA hospital, last night.”
I got this sms from my dad early in the morning while I was in the midst of shifting office.

“Another loss of our pops n mums generation’s defining icon……”
That was the first thing came to my mind upon receiving the news.

While I was on my way back home from work, an anonymous radio station was paying tribute to this pop idol by playing his songs non-stop, from Ben to Bad, from Thriller to Back or White. Then only I realized that how I used to came across these songs while I still had no idea about what ‘pop music’ is, and gawd, his songs are still that infectious!! Honestly, they fare much better than those robo-pop snacks and yo-yo-yeah-yeahs that dominate the radio airplays today (however, I still heart Britney Spears though).

‘It really needs to take death to make us realized how we used to love someone’.
Just moments after the breaking news of MJ's untimely death, the post impact is unprecedented: all radio stations blasting off his tunes hits 24-hours non-stop; vast news coverage of his death; skyrocketing sales of his albums in every local outlet; plentiful blog comments and facebook statuses; and of course, tears and mourning from fans around the world.

I was still yet to arrive in this world when MJ corpse-danced to every household with Thriller and I was never an avid fan of his, as I was too young to worship an idol when he was in his prime. Yet I was aware of how broad his musical appeal is, and how his music transcended generations and races, young and old alike. You may not know who John Denver is, but you definitely know who Michael Jackson is. I can see the big hole created in the hearts of many people of the generation. The feeling is like losing your best friends, your loved ones.
In this case, it’s losing an important figure in their memories.

The scenario is pretty much similar to the decease of Hong Kong veteran entertainer Lydia Sum two years ago, who entertained and accompanied our mums and dads through their ups and downs all through the decades. When she left, the whole generation lost an always ever-optimistic Dai Ga Jie.

And this day, we’d lost an idol of an entire generation. A figure is gone, the past is far behind us and suddenly, we realized that we’d grown up.

Ironically, months before his departure, he was always the target of media tabloids scrutiny for his weird behaviors and deteriorating physical appearances. It somehow feels sad to accept the fact that people could be so cruel to each other while they are alive. Now that he has died, would they feel a little bit ashamed or regret for what they’d done to him? Sadly, it’s money that matters.

Negative press aside, it was still a sad day for the older generation. The millennium babies may find it hard to understand this feeling. May be it’s time to let them know how you used to blast his songs with your cassette player during picnics, how you roller-scatted to ‘Bad’ at roller-skating center, how you tried to imitate his moonwalk, and how used to wear those flashy jackets while courting girls.

May be it’s time to embrace the memories, for the sake of nostalgia.

I may not be your fan, but I still like your music.