(Warning: negativity overloaded, skip this if you’re in a sunny mood)
I’m sorry if I gave u the wrong impression
I’m sorry if I never looked into your eyes
I’m sorry if I never speak much
I’m sorry if I’ve made sudden excuses to go away
I’m sorry if I left you feeling awkward and uncomfortable
It’s all because of the ‘thing’ running through my head
The ‘thing’ hanging down my nose
It needed air to breathe, it needed time to release
Long time hiding will only cause suffocation
We have a mixed and complicated relationship
‘Love & Hate’, that’s the closest term I could name it
It’s a trademark of mine, and it also made my mum cried;
It gives me another insight of life,
and it also stripped away my sense of pride;
It gives me another reason to fight in life,
but it just worsened my cowardice;
God is fair, and I’m blessed with the bestests of life
but somehow I just wished I could get it off my mind
To me, confidence is a word of a thousand tonnes
At the same time, it only took a stick of dynamite to blow it up
Yes, in case if you wonder,
I did took the words seriously, and I sighed on the mirror frequently
And for once or twice, I dropped a tear or two in the middle of the night
But I’ll never breakdown in front of you guys,
as I hold on to my image so damn tight
I just can’t stand myself from losing my last bit sense of pride
However I used to lose it, once in my life
And I regretted it, for the rest of my life
I used to be a perfectionist,
But now no longer I belong to it;
I used to be such an arrogant peafowl
Now I’m just a plain ignorant da-mole;
I’ve gotta resent myself from excessive expressing
Because option A, B & Cs are the only ones in the presentable list;
I’ve gotta learn to be receptive to everything
So that I could learn to be less touchy when dealing with ‘it’;
I tended to choose the most travelled routes
As I don't have the courage to face it if things went south;
And you know I’d never let you take my pictures from the side,
I guessed now you’d already know the reason’s why
"TOLD 'YA NOT FROM THE SIDE!!..."
(I’m just worried if I’m going to lose anything more in my life….)
Somberness aside, deep down inside,
I’m not those who’d easily give up that tumbling kite
I have this little fighting spirit for as long as I could ever remember
Having kept on trying and fighting for what I thought were impossible
You see, there’s a reason why I still root for Britney all this while
And why I listen and sing to Mariah’s ‘Hero’ all the time
In the end, I’m actually thrilled of what I’d been able to achieve
But alas, too bad, that’s the limit that I can only reach
No need for feeling guilty, as it’s all me, not others
And in fact, I’ve got to thank ‘it’, for the good things it brought to me:
It pulls me back to the ground whenever I wasn’t aware
It constructed the sensitive yet wacky Libran personality of mine
It gives me pride in certain ways I’d have never expected
It brings me some of the best things in my life which are more than I could ask for
..........
All in all, it makes me who I am today
Both the good side and the bad side
Again, I’m sorry if you’re offended by this semi-revelation of a typical Libran
‘The world is at war, and the children are left in poor, and now you’re getting’ emo- just because of this ding-dong??’
I just need some space sometimes, that's all
I’m bitchily sensitive, it’s been hiding inside of me
But I mean no harm, and I always looked that easy
Because that’s the side of me that I want to let you see
(Do you see the conflicting personalities I’m having?)
(not that extreme lar~~)
And if there is a chance, I’ll get rid of it, once and for all,
And for once in a while, you’ll see the true sunshine in me.
Face yourself, before you face the others.